What is that thing?
by Aesop
Summary: Complete. SG1 puzzles over a newly discovered alien.
1. What is that thing?

WHAT IS THAT THING?

BY: Aesop

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Awhile back, for lack of anything better to do, I watched a Disney movie on TV. The idea for this story occurred to me shortly thereafter. This may not be the weirdest crossover ever, but it's the strangest one I've written.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of the Stargate characters or the Disney character that makes an appearance here. No profit is earned.

OOOOOOOOOO

"What is it?"

"We're not sure, sir."

"Where was it found, again?"

"Hawaii. It was living on one of the smaller islands as a family pet."

"You're joking."

"No sir."

"No idea what it is? Where it came from? Teal'c?"

"I am sorry General Landry. I have never seen such a creature before."

Landry sighed as he looked over his flagship team, minus one. "Where is colonel Mitchell?"

"Infirmary, sir," Carter answered. "He was bitten."

"By that thing?"

"No sir, by the little girl it was living with."

Deciding not to comment on that, he turned back to the monitor. Displayed on the screen, was the isolation room in which the creature was being kept. It had easily broken out of its animal carrier and was wandering the room on all fours, sniffing randomly at various points along the floor and walls. Its large ears never ceased their motion. "What do we know about it?" he finally asked.

"We haven't had time to run any lab tests yet, sir," colonel Carter responded. "At this point, all we have is our own observations."

"And?" he prompted.

"Well," Daniel Jackson thought for a moment. "It's not a dog."

"What?" Landry asked, slightly thrown by the comment.

"The family it was living with, two sisters, tried to convince us it was a dog."

"Are they both blind?" he asked incredulously. It looked more like a koala to him, an angry, mutated koala.

"No sir. They're being questioned now. It's safe to say they know what it is and where it came from, but they're not talking."

"What else?"

"It's, um, strong, very strong actually," Carter ventured.

"Quick as well," Teal'c offered, "and quite cunning."

"It's sentient?"

"Too soon to say, sir," Carter answered. "I did hear it speak, but nothing more complicated than a parrot might have managed. It may just be a very clever animal."

"So," Landry summed up. "It's fast, strong, clever, and… blue."

"Add gross to the list," Jackson commented as he watched the thing lick its nose.

On the screen, the creature had risen to its hind legs and turned its large ears in the direction of the observation room. The rest of the head followed at Daniel Jackson's comment. It grinned up at the camera and called out in a grating, high-pitched voice, "don't forget cute and fluffy!"

NEXT: What Now, Genius?


	2. What now, genius?

WHAT NOW, GENIUS?

BY: Aesop

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I had intended the story "What is That Thing?' to be a one-shot, but several reviewers asked me to continue.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of the Stargate characters or the Disney character that makes an appearance here. No profit is earned.

OOOOOOOOOO

The spaceship was a surprise. He'd never seen its like before, and spent a moment simply staring at the bright red vessel with the white trim. At first, it had only appeared as an anomaly, little more than a sensor ghost, but a deft manipulation of the controls had made it plainly visible, at least to him.

It was holding geo-synchronous orbit over the North American continent and appeared to be scanning the surface. With its garish paint job, it did not appear to be any kind of warship he had ever seen. At least, it was not armed with anything his sensors could identify as a weapon. Readying his ship for combat, just to be safe, he hailed the alien vessel.

The face that appeared on the screen was unlike anything he had seen before. Four eyes stared at him out of a wide purple skinned face. The mouth shaped itself into what might have been a smile, and it spoke.

"An Asgard! My, this is being quite a surprise! Have not seen one of your race in years."

"I am Thor, supreme commander of the Asgard fleet. The planet you are orbiting is included in the Protected Planets Treaty. Any hostile action against its people will be met with force. Please state your business here."

"Straight to the point. I always liked that about your people, and glad I am to know that Earth enjoys Asgard protection. This is being bad neighborhood, I think."

"Who are you, and why are you here?"

"Ah, that is being long story. I am Dr. Jumba Jakooba, and I am here to help the people of this planet. You see… a dangerous creature has found its way here, and I am looking to take it back where it belongs."

"Dangerous creature?"

"Yes indeed." The alien paused a moment, thinking hard if Thor was reading its expression correctly. Such interpretations were always suspect with alien races. There were aspects of human behavior, Thor reflected, that he was certain he would never understand, despite his long association with the species. "You see, a laboratory created life-form broke from the custody of the Galactic Federation authorities and stole a ship. It was damaged, but managed to reach this world before crashing. I was sent to retrieve it."

The Galactic Federation? Thor was vaguely aware of them. The small coalition of worlds with the grandiose name controlled a relatively small section of the galaxy, but it was quite some distance from Earth. Their technology was not equal to the Goa'uld but they maintained a sizeable fleet of ships that were sufficient to protect their territory. "How dangerous?"

"Oh, it is a monster. Being designed to cause unheard of destruction! If I can not return it where it is belonging, I shudder to imagine the consequences!"

"Where is it now?"

Jumba sighed. "That is being biggest problem. I cannot find it. I fear that experiment 626 was captured by the military of this planet. If it was taken to military place, then it could be very bad. Is not being a good thing to put experiment designed for mayhem close to things that go," Jumba pointed his index fingers at the screen, "BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM," he threw his arms wide apart, "KABOOM! HA HA HA H- ahem. Sorry."

A moment passed before Thor could bring himself to say anything, so baffling were the antics of the purported scientist. Jumba actually seemed gleeful at the prospect of such destruction. Again, though, Jumba was an alien of an unknown species, and it was possible, Thor allowed, that he was misreading the stranger. But he rather doubted it.

Deciding that he would need to tread carefully and watch the odd alien closely, he nodded. "Then it must be retrieved before… that can happen."

An unmistakably calculating look crossed Jumba's face. "Precisely! Knowing, I am about the Asgard beaming-up technology. Perhaps you could retrieve it for me, no? I can send you experiment 626's genetic profile. Your sensors are no doubt being MUCH better than mine."

"I can do that," Thor agreed, hesitantly. "However, I will need to contact their government to…"

"Surely," Jumba interrupted, looking alarmed at the notion, "you do not mean to be revealing yourself to the natives? They are primitives! There is no telling how they would react. Best if experiment 626 just disappears. Beam him up to my ship, and I will ensure he does no damage to lovely little planet below. Let them live with the mystery, yes?"

"Under different circumstances, I might agree," he answered coldly, "but Earth's governments are well aware of the Asgard, even though the general public is not."

"Oh. Well… that is good then. But they are not aware of the Galactic Federation, and my government would not be being pleased with me if…" He broke off in consternation.

"Earth is aware of alien civilizations," Thor assured him, not surprised by Jumba's reluctance to involve the human authorities. He decided to probe the matter more carefully. "If this creature is so dangerous, how do you propose to contain it?"

"I have my ways," Jumba assured him smiling smugly.

Thor did not inquire further. He was clearly not hearing the whole truth. "I will contact the appropriate individuals. Please wait."

"Of course, my little friend. I will await word." His image vanished from the screen, but Thor touched a control that allowed him to tap the alien vessel's internal com system. He was surprised to here another voice.

"Oh brilliant!" it cried, sounding exasperated. "Some evil genius you are! Why'd you have to go and do that?"

"Quiet Pleakley. I must think."

"Should have done that before you opened your mouth!"

"Thought I could get him to help. Make matters simple. How else we rescue Ohana? That mountain is being a fortress. Even Stitch would have trouble getting out. Never mind the girls."

"And involving an Asgard friend of their captors helps, how? What now, genius?!"

NEXT: WHY?


	3. Why?

WHY?

Here is another chapter of my Stargate/Lilo & Stitch crossover. I hope you're still enjoying it. In this one, Major Davis is having a bad day.

OOOOOOOOOO

It was her very best glare, and it really annoyed her that he seemed to think it was funny. Nani, sitting protectively close to her, was having better luck. Too old to be considered 'cute' Lilo supposed.

"Where's my dog?" she demanded again. Unlike her glare, this didn't amuse the uniformed man questioning them. He gave a put upon sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose. "He's a good puppy! You can't take him away!"

"We all know he's not a dog," Major Davis said tiredly. "Dogs don't talk. That creature does." Lilo exchanged a worried look with her big sister. "We just want to know where it came from. It could be very dangerous."

"Not to us," Nani answered with a shrug. "To idiots with guns that bust into our house? That's different."

The man looked away for a moment. "I admit that was badly handled. Our information was... incomplete. The men who went in had to be ready for anything. Judging by the amount of trouble your 'pet' gave them, they didn't prepare well enough." Lilo smiled proudly.

"How long are you going to keep us here?" Nani asked. Lilo felt her smile slip away, and she scowled again.

"I wanna go home!" She made an effort to put extra whine into it. Adults hated that. Why should she be the only one having a bad day?

"I know, and I want to send you home as soon as I can, but I need to know about the creature first."

"Why?" Lilo asked.

"We want to know about him. Where did he come from? Are there more like him? We only have your interests at heart. He could be dangerous to you, even if he doesn't mean to be."

"Why?"

"He could make you sick."

"Why?"

"He might have a disease that won't hurt him but could make you and your sister very sick."

"Why?"

"Because-" he broke off, looking irritated. "Stop that."

"Why?"

"What's to know?" Nani threw her hands up in exasperation. "He's harmless unless you attack him first. He's healthy. He's gentle with Lilo, and he's part of our family."

"What else can you tell me about him?"

"Why?" Lilo asked again. The man ignored her, focusing on Nani. Her sister sat back in her chair and said nothing.

"Anything you can tell me would be useful," he tried after a few minutes of silence.

"He likes Elvis," Lilo offered.

"What?"

"He likes Elvis. He can hula. Well sorta, and he likes to play in laundry fresh out of the dryer." She smiled hopefully at the major. "Can we go home now?" Davis' face was doing a fine imitation of a rock, but Nani was making small choking noises and her shoulders were shaking, as she looked adoringly at her little sister.

"Anyone who likes Elvis can't be all bad, right?" Nani asked.

"Its musical preferences aren't an issue Miss Pelekai, as you well know," Davis' tone hardened as he decided to try a different tack. A polite question and answer session wasn't getting the job done. He did not enjoy playing the heavy, but the girls were beginning to wear on his nerves. "Your sister may not understand the serious situation you've found yourselves in, but you should. Harboring that creature, when it might pose, at the very least, a public health risk, is a serious crime."

Lilo leaned over to her sister and said in a loud whisper, "I bet he doesn't like Elvis."

"You don't need to worry about an invasion or a plague," Nani said when she could breathe properly again. "All the people Stitch has are right here in this room. He's been living with us for months now without so much as a sniffle. Where he came from, just isn't important."

"I disagree."

Lilo gave him her best wide-eyed innocent look. "Why?"

NEXT CHAPTER: YOU'RE WHO?


	4. You're Who?

You're Who?

Here is another chapter of my Stargate/Lilo & Stitch crossover. I hope you're still enjoying it. In this chapter, explanations are made.

OOOOOOOOOO

"You're who?" the nervous sergeant asked, peering owlishly at the man before him.

"You can read, soldier," he said, retrieving his ID. "I'm here to see General Landry." He had gotten the same reaction at every checkpoint leading into the mountain, from every soldier that had examined his Agency credentials. Some days he wondered why he kept the name. Repressing a sigh, he reminded the soldier of his duties and was immediately ushered into the conference room and the presence of General Hank Landry.

His old friend looked up and grinned. "Bubbles!"

"Long time, no see, Hank," Bubbles offered with the first genuine smile he'd had that day.

"I can't tell you how surprised I was to learn that you were involved. Thought you'd retired?"

"Called back. Special circumstances. I still live in Hawaii, though."

"Yeah? How's the mosquito population in Kawai?"

"Thriving," Bubbles answered, deadpan. It was a standing joke between them.

"Bubbles?" the man to Landry's right asked, raising an eyebrow behind his glasses.

"Mosquitoes?" a blonde woman in BDUs asked.

"Long story," Landry answered. Then glanced at the others in the room. "Allow me to make the introductions." He gestured at each in turn. "This is the SGC's flagship team, SG1, and this is Thor, Supreme commander of the Asgard fleet. I'd like you to meet an old friend of mine. This is Bubbles."

Each of them nodded in turn, but to his surprise, it was the small gray alien who asked the question. "Is Bubbles not an atypical name?"

"It is," Bubbles responded, as usual, offering no explanation and neither inviting nor discouraging further comment.

"I understand you can help clear up our little problem?" Landry asked, settling back in his chair, and putting the meeting back on track.

"Indeed," Thor asked. "Perhaps you know something of the odd ship orbiting your planet?"

"Ship?" Bubbles asked.

"There are two aliens aboard. Jumba Jookiba and… I believe the other is-"

"Pleakley. I wondered where they had gotten to."

"They told me a highly suspect story and attempted to convince me to remove an alien from the SGC using my ship's transporter." He recounted the conversation he had had with Jumba.

"Hmm. Well, he didn't tell any outright lies. It's all true, up to a point."

"A point?" Landry asked, having already decided that he didn't like the alien 'evil genius.' "Maybe we should bring them in. If they-"

"That will not be necessary," Thor assured him. "I was able to gain control of his ship's computer. He isn't going anywhere, and he will not be causing trouble."

_Good_, Bubbles suppressed a sigh of relief. Well intentioned though he might be, Jumba could only make matters worse by attempting a rescue. An annoyed Asgard commander was quite enough to overcome as it was. "You don't need to worry. Jumba is not what he used to be. He just wants his family back."

"Family?"

"I should begin at the beginning," Bubbles raised a hand to forestall further questions. "Jumba was convicted of performing illegal genetic experiments, and his creation," he nodded toward the monitor where Stitch could be seen dozing in the isolation room, "was due to be imprisoned somewhere unpleasant. Stitch escaped and made his way to Earth in a damaged ship. That's where things started getting strange."

"Started?" the man with the glasses asked in the same tone in which he had said 'Bubbles?'

"Stitch was designed to be a monster, but he was captured while still in the lab. Jumba didn't know how badly he'd miscalculated. When Stitch arrived on Earth, a family looking for a dog took him in. I know," he cut off the objection of a man with a bandaged hand. "But he was taken in nonetheless, and he started to learn what it meant to belong somewhere."

It was an overly sentimental statement, and he saw the astonishment on Landry's face. The others, for reasons he couldn't fathom, looked thoughtful instead of incredulous. "It was rough going at first, but Lilo was having some luck in taming him. He might have settled in there eventually, but the Federation wasn't prepared to let matters stand. All they knew was that a dangerous creature had been set loose on an unsuspecting planet. With the best of intentions, they sent Jumba and Pleakley to retrieve the experiment. Jumba being the only one who knew enough about Stitch's capabilities to even attempt a quiet capture."

"Things didn't go as planned," SG1's leader surmised.

"No. Stitch evaded him time and again, because Pleakley refused to risk them being seen by locals. He kept Jumba on a tight leash. The Council got impatient, dismissed both of them from service and sent someone else, a Federation captain named Gantu. He wasn't at all concerned about the sensibilities of the local populace and made something of a mess. To make matters worse, his first attempt to capture Stitch got him Lilo instead. Stitch and Nani convinced Jumba to help rescue her." Bubbles snorted derisively. "Before Stitch was through with him, Gantu had lost his ship, his rank, and most of his dignity. It wouldn't surprise me to learn that he tipped you off to the situation on Kauai."

"You sound like you admire that thing," Mitchell scowled. "'Stitch' gave us a lot of trouble."

"Unnecessary trouble," Bubbles assured him. "Whatever he was designed to be, Stitch is a genuinely good person. He reacted as he did because of the perceived threat to his family."

"Overreacted," Jackson commented. "We didn't go there to harm the Pelekai family. We thought they were the ones in danger. I'm not convinced we were wrong."

"Tell me about it," Mitchell shuddered. "Twice last night I relived the last few minutes of that fight in my dreams." He glanced at the others. "You remember, right before Carter got it with the 'zat?"

"Yes," Jackson answered, adjusting his glasses. "I vaguely recall a little girl uttering what I now consider to be the most frightening words in the English language."

"'My dog found the chainsaw,'" both men chorused.

It was not, Bubbles reflected, repressing a sigh, a promising start. Fortunately, he had a trump card to play if the rest of the story failed to sway them.

NEXT: WHAT JUST HAPPENED?


	5. What Just Happened?

WHAT JUST HAPPENED?

Here's another chapter of my crossover. This time; it's time to go home.

OOOOOOOOOO

"We're going home?" Lilo was practically bouncing.

"That's right," Major Davis answered, trying not to sound too relieved. The elevator doors opened at the surface level and they got off. "We reached an accommodation with your… foreign friend. She explained everything, and we reached an agreement."

"Foreign friend?" Lilo asked, confused. Then it hit her. "OH! You mean the Grand Councilwoman." She nodded sagely and gave an exaggerated wink.

Davis sighed. _That could have been worse_, he allowed. The arrival of the tall, reed thin alien through the gate had made quite an impression on the SGC. Much to Davis' surprise, she had filled in all the blanks for them and convinced General Landry to allow Stitch, Jumba, and Pleakley to return to Kauai. Davis hadn't been present and wasn't sure how she had done it. For the first time in his life, he had an appreciation for the expression 'fly on the wall.' He certainly wouldn't have minded being one for that meeting.

Landry had his share of conditions, of course. Stitch had to submit to certain medical tests, to make sure he wasn't carrying any nasty diseases, and the Air Force would be checking in regularly. Earth would also be establishing diplomatic relations with the United Galactic Federation. This worked to the advantage of both, so the Grand Councilwoman readily agreed.

"So where is Stitch?" Lilo asked, looking around.

"He'll be along soon. Our doctor just wanted to give him a thorough checkup and make sure he's okay."

"Jumba can do that when we get home," Lilo waved off his explanation. "Don't trouble yourself."

"It's no trouble, and it is required by the general." He saw the girl's face clouding up and hastened to reassure her. "By now, they should be done and just waiting on test results. Not long."

"I want to go home," Lilo pouted. "If all you're doing is waiting for test results," she pointed out, suddenly cheerful, "there's no reason Stitch can't wait on Kawai." She turned and looked around the room they'd just entered. "Do those vents run through the entire base?"

Major Davis glanced at the air conditioning vent, thrown by the non sequitur. "I believe so." Then it clicked. "I doubt he can hear you, and he wouldn't be able to get out that way, even if he could fit through the vents. You watch too many movies."

Ignoring him Lilo leaned over and shouted into the vent. "Come on Stitch! Time to go home!"

OOOOOOOOOO

Twenty-odd levels below, General Hank Landry was wrapping up the business that had brought Thor to Earth. He was pleased with the results of their mutual efforts and was saying as much to their small gray ally when his phone rang.

"Landry."

"Sir we may have a problem. Check the monitor for the isolation room."

Frowning, Landry picked up a remote control and aimed it at the portable terminal that had been brought in earlier for the meeting with the Federation representative. The small blue creature was bouncing around the room excitedly. "What's the problem? He's contained."

"It just started, sir. It was perfectly well-behaved when the doctor was running her tests, and dozing the rest of the time. Then, for no apparent reason, it started doing…" on screen, Stitch gave and extra high bounce and opened his mouth wide, giving his audience a good view of his formidable teeth. "…that."

"Has anything changed in the isolation room? Anything that might irritate it?" Before Walter could answer the little beast reared back and spat on the camera lens, obscuring their view of the room. The audio pickup still functioned, though, and Landry could clearly hear the shriek of tortured metal that could only be the door of the isolation room being ripped from its frame. That was followed by startled shouts, some muffled thuds and, a moment later, a base-wide alarm. "Oh great."

OOOOOOOOOO

"Lilo," Davis pointed out. "Even if he could hear you, there are over a dozen levels of high security between him and us."

"Oh. Good point." She leaned back to the vent. "Don't hurt anybody, Stitch!"

OOOOOOOOOO

A small furry bowling ball rolled out of a side corridor and under the feet of the soldiers running toward the source of the alarm. It changed direction several times, neatly avoiding becoming part of the pile of colorfully swearing marines. One managed to pull himself free just in time to see their assailant unroll and jump to the wall of a cross-corridor. "Strike!" it shouted gleefully, before disappearing as quickly as it had come among them.

OOOOOOOOOO

"What's the situation, Walter?"

"The thing in the isolation room broke out, Colonel Mitchell. We're not sure why. It just went berserk."

"Terrific. It'll be headed for the surface and there are only so many ways out of this base. We need to make sure they're all covered."

"The shaft to the surface is the most direct," Sam reasoned. "I doubt it could know about that, though."

"We should post guards anyway." They organized and deployed as quickly as they could.

OOOOOOOOOO

"We've spotted it, sir." It's on level 22, corridor E. We're in pursuit, man that thing is fast!" The last came through in a mutter, not meant for his superiors.

"That's not going to lead him anywhere useful," Landry frowned, looking at the others in the control room.

"Actually, sir," Carter corrected there is a…" the lights suddenly cut out, "junction box there." The lights came on a moment later as the backups kicked in.

"Sorry sir," the airman reported. "We lost him."

OOOOOOOOOO

Airman Hall caught a glimpse of blue fur out of the corner of his eye and turned to run after it. Racing full tilt with three others at his back, he approached the corner. "Fisher's squad is coming from the other direction," he told his men. "We've got it trapped." Rounding the corner, he could see Fisher and three others coming from the other direction, at speed. No rooms. No other corridors to duck down. Not even an air vent. "Got you," he muttered, still moving fast toward the creature. For some reason, the little beast didn't look all that worried. It was just sitting there, drooling. Hall didn't have time to wonder why before his feet went out from under him.

Cooper, Dickson, and Richards joined him on a floor that, he realized now that he was face down, sliding along it, was covered with the creature's saliva. An attempt to push himself up ended abruptly when Fisher landed on top of him.

"Eeww!" Someone called out from the pile. "I've been slimed!" Hall never saw where the creature went.

OOOOOOOOOO

Landry scowled at his watch, as they headed for the briefing room. "Well, colonel Carter, you no longer hold the record for quickest escape from the SGC."

"Yes, sir," Sam answered automatically, too busy reviewing in her mind how exactly that had happened. Stitch had proven every bit as formidable as Bubbles, and she still couldn't quite get past that name, had claimed. The security footage was downright embarrassing, and could have easily taken top prize on America's Funniest Home Videos.

"We're ready to go after him," Mitchell assured the general, surprised that the order hadn't already been given.

"We were going to release him anyway," Landry sighed. "Besides, do you really want him back here?"

"Um, good point. So, he goes back with his… family?"

"Yes, and the other two aliens as well. They're to be left alone, provided they stay out of trouble and keep a low profile. Bubbles has been given the job of watching them."

"He has my sympathies." Teal'c's words drew startled looks from the others. They had all been thinking it, but no one had expected the stoic Jaffa to be the one to voice it.

"Indeed," Daniel agreed, after a moment. They entered the conference room for a formal rundown of the afternoon's debacle only to received another surprise. Thor was still there, and sitting across from him was General Jack O'Neill.

"Jack?" Landry asked glancing back and forth between the two. He noted that Thor seemed unusually agitated about something.

"Hank," Jack nodded in greeting. "What just happened?"

NEXT: WHERE IS YOUR WHAT?


	6. Where is your what?

WHERE IS YOUR WHAT?

We're coming up on the conclusion of this story. I think I've stretched the plot lines of both shows far enough. I considered putting in a chapter about the visit with the Galactic Federation Rep., but I just couldn't see Landry agreeing to anything that I needed him to agree to, so I handled it another way. Here is the next chapter. Something important is missing

OOOOOOOOOO

"Where is your what?" Landry felt a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach and a need to sit down. He was already sitting.

"My ship," Thor repeated. "It is no longer in orbit."

Landry glanced at Jack, who looked uncommonly grave. "What happened?" he asked, although he had a feeling he already knew.

"We're not sure," O'Neill answered. "It didn't crash, we know that much. When Thor tried to return to his ship, he just found that he couldn't. No warning, it just… wasn't there anymore."

"The _Prometheus_?"

"That's how I got here. They're scanning the area now."

"Jookiba?" Landry asked, voicing the disturbing possibility that had occurred to him earlier.

"I cannot tell," Thor answered. "My ship has safeguards, and I should have been alerted had anyone tried to bypass them or had anything catastrophic happened to the vessel, but I received no warning. My systems failed to respond when I signaled for transport."

"That's when he contacted me," Jack picked up the story. "You were, ah, occupied."

"Getting our butts kicked by a blue space koala," Landry admitted sourly.

"The _Prometheus_ hasn't been at it long, but they haven't found anything yet." Jack looked at Thor. "Is there any chance that this Jookiba actually stole your ship?"

"The odds are against it, O'Neill. The technology of the Galactic Federation is considerably inferior to that of the Asgard. However," he admitted, "I see no other likely explanation."

"I'll call Bubbles, see if he can give us some idea of what Jookiba is capable of." The Grand Councilwoman had been amused by Thor's handling of the alien scientist and suggested that he be left where he was during their discussions. Landry didn't know the source of the animosity, and she hadn't been inclined to enlighten him. She had managed to convince him to allow Jumba and Pleakley to stay on Earth, though, under supervision. He was beginning to believe that that had been a bad idea.

It wasn't as if the two could blend in anyway, Landry reflected. Neither looked remotely human. The sisters may not have talked to Davis, but Nani did, as part of the agreement with the Federation, send reports on Jumba. The Councilwoman had told Landry that, while the people of Kawai had been wary of them at first, they had, for the most part, bided their time and taken the measure of their new neighbors. Both had been accepted after a while, and now, none of the islanders paid them any mind.

He thought the situation untenable, but he had agreed to let matters stand for a time while the military studied the arrangement. Definitely a mistake, he decided.

Before he could reach the phone, to call Bubbles, though, there was a flash of light and a pale green creature was standing in the table.

"Hi! No need to point things! Or pull things! I'm harmless." He waved his four fingered hands in a placating gesture.

"Is hologram, Pleakley," a voice that, Jack thought, sounded vaguely Russian spoke from out of range. "They cannot be shooting you."

"Oh! That's right! Uh, hi. I-"

"Where are you?" Landry interrupted, putting the phone down, "and where is the ship you stole?" The alien winced, and looked very nervous.

"Um, not stole. Borrowed. The commander will get it back. We just need it a little bit longer to get our friends back. Where are Stitch and the girls?"

"Why don't you come down here so we can talk about it face to face?" Landry suggested.

"Hah! Fat chance! I've seen those TV shows and the newspapers!" Landry, O'Neill, and Thor listened, both astonished and annoyed by the odd intruder's in-depth knowledge of tabloid publications and FOX network programming. It only stopped when a large, four-fingered hand entered their view and slapped him on the back of the head.

"Focus, Pleakley," the heavily accented voice commanded.

"Okay!" the skinny green alien answered. "We just want Stitch and the girls back. We tried scanning for them to beam them up, but genius here can't figure out the scanners." He received another knock on the head for this. "Anyway. We just want them returned, safe and sound. Then we'll be on our way. No hard feelings."

"You haven't really thought this through, have you?" O'Neill asked. Pleakley looked nervous and didn't answer. "I'm sure we can come to an agreement," the head of Homeworld Security offered in his best placating tone, "but a face-to-face meeting would be preferable. You have my word you won't be harmed. This is a bit distracting."

"Distracting?"

"Your standing in the middle of the table," Landry pointed out.

One big eye was directed downward and its owner let out a startled squawk when he saw that his body seemed to end at the tabletop. "Oh. Yeah, I see. OK, maybe-"

"That will not be necessary," Thor interrupted, fiddling with one of his crystals. He vanished in a flash of light. The alien in the table also vanished, and a moment later Thor returned.

"Everything under control?"

"Yes. The three aliens have been placed in one of your holding cells."

"Let's go talk to 'em," O'Neill stood.

OOOOOOOOOO

Jumba, Pleakley, and the odd creature that accompanied them watched their captors warily. Thor had quickly finished his assessment of the ship and returned after ensuring that the two thieves had done no damage. While the ship was intact, he did have questions for them.

He wasn't the only one. While SG1 had dispersed to their own tasks, Landry and O'Neill were present along with a contingent of guards. "Where did you go?" Landry was asking when he arrived.

"Went to Turo to retrieve some things from my old lab. Thought might be needing them to save family."

"They never needed saving," Landry snapped. "We have to take precautions, though, to ensure that none of you are even an unintentional threat."

"You show up with big guns to do this? Where are they?"

"They've already left for home," O'Neill answered. "You don't need to worry about them."

"Worry about yourselves instead. I doubt the Asgard will take kindly to the theft of one of their ships."

"Perhaps, I can be making it worth little gray friend's time," Jumba turned to address Thor. "Have many experiments, some of which Asgard might find useful."

"Is that what was in the container you left aboard my vessel?"

Jumba frowned. "Beamed container down to house."

"No. You only transported the contents."

Jumba sighed. "Nani will not like that. Dehydrated experiment pods everywhere. I will be sweeping floor for days."

"That will not be a concern." He showed interface he carried to Jumba. "That was not your only miscalculation."

Jumba scanned the information before him. "Oops."

LAST CHAPTER: WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'OOPS?'


	7. What do you mean 'Oops'

WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'OOPS?'

Here it is, the last chapter of my story. I hope you've enjoyed reading it as much as I've enjoyed writing it.

OOOOOOOOOO

"What do you mean 'oops?' Landry asked.

"Yes, educate us on oops," O'Neill demanded, not knowing what to expect, but knowing he wasn't going to like it.

"Made slight miscalculation with transporter," Jumba admitted. "Meant to beam experiment pods down to house on Kawai but… was a bit short."

"How short?" O'Neill asked.

"One thousand and 17 meters," Thor answered calmly.

"You mean to tell us," Landry demanded, "that you beamed these… experiment pods into the air over the island? How many?"

"Afraid so," Jumba admitted. "Six hundred and twenty-five."

"Six hundred and twenty-five? What exactly are these experiments about anyway?" O'Neill wanted to know.

"Oh, marvelous things, all of Jumba's best work! Many different genetic experiments all designed for different uses from annoying enemies to causing mass destruction! Hahahaha-" he realized he was the only one laughing and stopped. "Will not be so bad," he tried to calm the suddenly furious generals. "The pods are inactive. This is only one I activated." He gestured at the third resident of the cell. "Others are still locked away in dehydrated pods."

"Dehydrated?" Landry asked.

"As in," O'Neill picked up his train of thought, "just add water?"

"Yes! Is genius design, no?"

"No. You beamed these pods into the air over a tropical island," O'Neill pointed out. "I don't know what your planet is like, but on this one, islands are surrounded by water."

"Even assuming that most of them don't land in the ocean," Landry continued, "the first time Kawai gets a good rain, the island is going to be a disaster area!"

"Not to worry," the self-proclaimed evil genius assured them. "Jumba made mistake. Jumba can fix."

Nine eyes were turned to stare at him. "How do you propose to do that?" Pleakley demanded before the humans could ask.

"Indeed," Thor asked, "how?"

Similar questions came from the others including the odd looking sheep-like creature Jumba and Pleakley shared the cell with. "BAAA?"

Thor looked at the two slumbering generals and the guards, who lay in a pile by the door, before turning to Pleakley, the only other person in the room, besides the experiment, who remained upright.

Pleakley was staring at his wooly cellmate. "Oh! So that's what that one does."

OOOOOOOOOO

"I'm surprised they let you go after that," Nani said, setting the stew she'd made for the evening meal on the table.

"Not much choice," Jumba pointed out. "I know every detail of experiments' genetic makeup. All of their abilities and their weaknesses. Who better to catch them than evil genius creator?"

"They didn't exactly let him go," Lilo pointed out, nodding toward the window. There were two marines standing guard outside. They were not, Nani had been happy to hear, a permanent fixture. They were there while Jumba's equipment was thoroughly examined by scientists from Area 51 headed by Lt. Colonel Carter. They wanted to ensure there were no further evil experiments in the offing.

The bare minimum of technology needed to deal with the problem was being set up in a laboratory in the guest-house. It had been decided that he would spend most of his time there, out of sight, working to correct his mistake. There would be oversight, of course. A 'subtle' military presence was being established on the island and Jumba would regularly report his progress.

It had finally, reluctantly, been agreed that no cover story could suffice, as there was no way of knowing how long it would take. They couldn't evacuate the island's entire population indefinitely, and given that many of his experiments were more nuisance than threat, general O'Neill had convinced the president that it was unnecessary.

All in all, Nani thought, things could have worked out much worse. Jumba's accident seemed to benefit them more than-. That thought stopped her in her tracks. Her eyes narrowed thoughtfully as she moved slowly to Jumba's side, trying to look and sound casual.

"Do you think they know it wasn't an accident?"

"Pheh," Jumba snorted. "Who cares? I-" He broke off and turned in his seat to face her. "Ahem, ah, whatever do you mean?" he asked giving her his best puzzled look. "Surely you do not be suggesting that I would deliberately lose my experiments just so I could stay on island with adopted family?" He tried on an innocent look, but it just made Lilo giggle. "Why that would be… downright evil."

THE END


End file.
